Home visit date set . . .

My home visit from Child Welfare, which is part of my screening process, is on Tuesday the 5th of April at 2pm. That is perfect because I will be on holiday. Still waiting for my police clearance. They said 6 weeks. We are at 4 and a half weeks now . . .

Cape Town Adoption Support

As part of my screening I have been asked to attend "Rainbow Support Group" on 31 March 2011 at 7:30 p.m. at 31 Eden Road, Claremont. It is a group of adoptive parents and is headed up by Child Welfare. I am very keen to get involved!!

My Profile . . . A very precious angel

My Profile . . . The joy of being alive

My Profile . . . My beautiful home

My Profile . . . Celebrations

My profile . . . Teaching as a career

My Profile . . . I enjoy camping

My Profile . . . My loving family

My Profile . . . Something about me

It feels like home again . . .

Renovations are over!! Hooray!! The nest is nearly ready . . .

. . . and my pink baby room is coming together :-)

Where I am in the adoption process . . .

I know I have mentioned before that I am really impressed with Child Welfare`s thorough screening process. I think that every baby or child out there deserves nothing less. It is a pity all women do not have to be screened before being given the go ahead to have a baby ;-)There are 3 things that still need to happen before I am presented to the The Head of Adoptions Child Welfare: (1) Home visit - No date has been set yet. I will give Child Welfare a call this week to set up a date. (2) Police Clearance - Tomorrow is 3 weeks since I applied. People at the adoption workshop told me theirs arrived in the post exactly 6 weeks after applying. (3) Putting together my profile. Once these 3 things are done I am presented by the social workers involved in screening me to the Head of Adoptions Child Welfare for final approval. This is confirmed with a letter. At this point you are officially on 'the list'. I am not in a very big hurry as I know there are already 20 others on 'the list' so my name will probably not come up in the next month or 2 or 3 . . . but possible and hopefully later this year or early next year. My flat renovations are very much on track. The kitchen and bathroom are finished. The painting is nearly done - Just a few touch ups. The new carpets are being installed on Friday. Yesterday I bought pink curtains for the baby angel`s room. When the sun shines through the curtains the room looks pink even though the walls are cream.

Creating a visual profile of myself . . .

When a woman/couple decide to give her/their baby up for adoption she/they are usually presented with a few possible suitable people/couples who are on the list waiting to adopt. I will be presented to her/them by means of a visual profile which I have created. It can contain anything about myself without giving away too many personal details. Most people create a book or flip-file profile. I have spent about 2 weeks creating in windows publisher 8 A4 collages highlighting the most important aspects of my life using photographs. Each of the 8 pages has a little story about the photo`s which goes with it. I would like to have them printed in the next week or 2 and laminate the collage and little stories back to back and put it in a colourful plastic envelope. So when they are looking at my profile they can spread all the collages out in front of them. I tried to upload the collages here but this site will not accept the publisher format. Once I have colour printed them, I will scan them and upload them here. The 8 collages headings are: (1)Something about me (2)My loving family (3)I enjoy camping (4)Teaching as a career (5)Celebrations(6)My home(7)The joy of being alive(8)A very special angel.

Adoption workshop - 9 March 2011

Today`s workshop was thoroughly informative again. We spent a long time discussing when and how to tell your child that they are adopted and the various emotional issues surrounding it. Most of us agreed that telling the child as soon as they can understand would be the best time. Using a story in a book form would be very helpful. There are several books available, although most people who have seen 'The Gift' by Terri Lailvaux agreed that it was a fabulous book. After telling your adopted child the basics you would answer questions they may ask as they get older and may want more details or as the questions were raised. I believe that honesty is a very important aspect when building a relationship with anybody. A child is no different. Some secrets are just not best kept. On the other hand one needs to handle the whole issue delicately with sensitivity. From a teachers perspective I thought it very important that the teacher was informed so that the teacher could deal with issues that may arise in the classroom. The South African curriclum focusses on `families` every year from Grade R. Children are often asked to talk about and discuss their family. Differences and diversity is celebrated in South Africa. An informed teacher could play a positive role in promoting acceptance no matter what type of family the child came from.

Another form in a postbox . . .

At least five of my references have detailed information forms to fill in about me. The forms read: The above named has applied to this society to adopt a child. We would be most greatful if your could let us know, at your earliest convenience, whether you consider her suitable to adopt a child. They then need to comment on my experience with children, how I relate to children and my views on raising a child. They also need to comment on the atmosphere in the home, how I am regarded by friends and family in the community. They want comment on my social life, interests and hobbies. My standard of living, home circmstances and whether these are suitable for a child. They need to indicate whether they think I have sufficient resources, and support to provide for a child`s care and education. What role models have I had to aid me in raising a child. It is quite a form to fill in particularly if you don`t live in the same house with the person . . . but in the end Child Welfare can not be faulted on doing their homework . . . They are truely very thorough. Tomorrow is my last workshop. I am really looking forward to it. After that there is a home visit where the screening process continues.

A few good mother quotes . . .

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."
-- Lin Yutang

"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
-- Jewish proverb

My baby angel . . .

A name for my baby angel . . .

I did not realise that choosing a name would take me around in so many circles. Being a teacher I have heard almost every possible name. I have always loved double barrel names but then the poor child would have a long name to write forever, and I already have a long surname. At the same time I was looking for a name that was soft and unique. There are so many beautiful names out there already. Some are so beautiful that every second child has that name ;-) I wanted something a little more unique than that. After asking my friends on Facebook to recommend names and them coming up with some beautiful ones I have decided on Sasha Leigh. (Leigh being the second name) The baby angel will, however, come with a name given to her at birth. I will obviously first consider that name and see if Sasha Leigh will suite her before I make a final decision. I can only apply for her name to be changed once the adoption is finalised. The name change could take up to a year to process but more about that later. For now I will call her `baby angel` until I have made my final decision. Sasha is short for Alexander (not sure how they got Sasha from Alexander but anyway)and means "Defender of men." Maybe she will become a lawyer with a name like that ;-)

Nesting . . .

Timewise, my flat is going to be painted this coming week. At the same time I hope to get quotes for recarpeting and sort that out followed by buying a new lounge suite. Hopefully that can all be sorted out in the next 4 weeks before the Easter holidays start. During the 2 weeks school holidays my goal is to make my flat look like a home again: hang curtains and pictures in lounge, kitchen and bedroom. Put up mirrors, towel racks and toilet holders in my newly tiled bathroom. Most importantly I want to set up a room for my new baby :-) So far I have a cot and a kind friend is giving me a compactum and I may also be getting a bed with draws in the base. Fortunately I live in a huge old flat with really big rooms. Next week is my second workshop which will be followed by a home visit, but my name can only go on `the list` once I have police clearance. At the last workshop they told us that once your name is on the list . . . (which could be 4-10 weeks from now depending on when I get my police clearance) you need to prepare yourself for 24 hours - 48 hours notice of your babies arrival :-) That does seem short notice but then again all the baby need are nappies and formula and somewhere warm and comforting to sleep :-) At this point I think I have enough to get started with. I have a few different sized nappies and about 7 bottles. The 2 things I will need are formula (only once I know if the baby has any allergies or not) and dummies!! :-) It seems like everyone is recommending nuk dummies. I will get her some for just in case. Then again she may have already attached herself to a different type of dummy.

More letters in postboxes . . .

It has come to my attention that all of the six people I put down as references received forms in their postboxes. I happened to see the one my Dad has to fill in today. It includes a lot of details about my experience with children and if he feels I would be good around children. It also questions if my home, environment and lifestyle would be suitable for the raising a child. I cannot remember the exact words but they asked something about the vibe in my home. Again, I have to say, that I am really impressed with how thorough Child Welfare are in screening prospective parents. Before a baby or child is placed in a home they really do a lot of homework :-) After all an innocent little baby deserves nothing less.

When You Believe . . .

When You Believe - Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA90I6ZlBNA 

Ephesians 1 vs 11

^{" 11} In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, "

Letter in the postbox - Friday 4 March 2011

When you are adopting a baby the last thing on your mind is what the costs are going to be, yet one does need to have an indication if it is R5 000 or R50 000. At the orientation the question was asked and the social worker said it varied from person to person but was based on salary and affordability. She said the most is about R12 000. I asked about legal fees and she said the state covers those. All we pay is a screening process amount and a placement amount. They asked me several times during my screening if I had any questions. I just didnt think of asking how much I would pay. I had decided to set aside R12 000 anyway.
Today when I got home there was a letter in my postbox stamped Child Welfare. I couldnt wait to get inside to open it. I am not sure what I was expecting. Needless to say it was an invoice and the amount far less than I ever could have imagined. Based on my salary my screening is R1200 and placement (payable after I get the baby) R1500. The total is R2700. That means I have a lot more money than I thought to buy nappies and formula :-) . . . and start that educational savings plan.

Adoption Workshop - Thursday 3 March 2011

I had a great time at this workshop. We (being a group of 10) discusssed many issues pertaining to adoption which we may not have considered before. There were questions and answers, debates and perspectives. We had an interesting chat about nature vs nurture and the risks involved when adopting a baby from various backgrounds. I came away with a lot of food for thought. Next week we will have another workshop to discuss when and how to tell your precious gift that they were adopted, amongst other things.

Nesting . . .

Multitasking has taken on a new meaning these past few weeks. Juggling school, filling in application for adoption, appointments and flat renovations. What started out as maybe I should tile my entrance hall turned into the passage, kitchen amd bathroom floors and walls. It was 9 days of dust. I could not even see my flat inside. The more I dusted, the more dust there was. My good friend commented on my Facebook that everyone she knew who was pregnant had started with major renovations. She reconned that this was a sign that I was ready for a baby. Another friend called it nesting . . . .  I liked that :-)
My nesting is not finished yet . . . Well, the tiling looks fabulous now that the dust is gone. Next on the agenda is painting. That starts on Monday and should take a week. After that it I am looking to replace the carpets and buy a new lounge suite. At the moment I have one couch as my kind and loving brother took my old falling apart lounge suite away. I will keep you posted on my `nesting` progress and even post some photos. I have moved all the baby stuff I have so generously been given into my second bedroom which I will now call `the babies room`. I have not bought 1 thing for this precious baby yet, but have been inundated with goodies from very generous friends and people I hardly know :-) The wooden cot is going to be painted white next week.

Screening - Wednesday 2 March 2011

The screening was a 2 hour appointment. It involved spending an hour with each of the social workers seperately.
The first social worker asked me details about what was motivating me to adopt. She asked about my family and our relationships. She asked about my personal relationships and how I had delt with them when things did not work out. I was very honest. I have nothing to hide. She asked about my preferences regarding the child`s sex, age and race. I told her that a baby girl aged 2-4 months was a non-negotiable. As for race. I assume I will not be getting a white baby. I told her I would prefer a coloured baby because I have many coloured friends, so the child would feel quite at home culturally. She said that there are many coloured people/couples wanting to adopt coloured babies and the law says that a child must were possible go to someone of their own race before considering anyone else. She said that there are not as many black people/couples adopting so black babies are often placed cross-culturally. I told her I would love whatever precious baby girl they gave me regardless of race. In the end I have to believe that God in his wisdom will send me the `right` baby :-)
The second social worker wanted to know education and backgrounds of my parents, sister and brother. She asked about their health and attitudes to life. We spoke about discipline and how I viewed it. She spoke about hobbies and social activities and talents I may have :-)

Application Delivery - Wednesday 23 February 2011

I headed to Child Welfare in Klipfontein road straight after school. When I got to reception the lady said she didnt usually do this but I could take the application through to Eden Cottage, adoption house on the property, myself. When I got there I was fortunate to find both the adoption social workers. They said they would contact me about my screening but were pretty booked up :-( I asked them to please check that all my documents were in order and as I was walking back to my car one of them called me back to say there had been a cancellation . . . I think the hand of God :-) . . . and that I could have my screening on Wednesday 2 March and attend workshops on Thursday 3 March and on Wednesday 9 March. I would then have a home visit, after which I would hear if I was suitable to adopt a baby.

Application to adopt a child . . .

The application form is very comprehensive. Child Welfare are doing a fabulous job in making sure that these children go to suitable homes. They need to make sure that the child`s physical, social and emotional needs can be met. I had quite a giggle filling in the form. They wanted my parents and siblings every detail from hair colour (my Dad has hardly any hair) to their education right down to their shoe size (joking). I had to fill in details about my income, expenses and assets with proof attached. Which Medical Aid? Which Pension Fund? I had to search in my files and refresh my memory as to the values of my life insurances and endowment policies. They wanted to know details of where I lived and how many rooms I had. There are pages of personal information about hobbies, sports, social clubs, smoking, drinking, have you ever had counselling, ever been on anti-depressants, been charged with a criminal offence. Lastly I needed to put 4 references down: two family members, two non-family members. Attached to the application form I needed the following documantation: Certified copy of ID, A clear photogragh, most recent salary slip, police clearance, a comprehensive medical certificate and HIV and VDRL serology results. My goal was to deliver this completed form to Child Welfare ASAP. On the 19th February I went for my blood tests. That was rather comical . . . because when I asked for the HIV and VDRL serology test the woman didnt know what that was. How can you not know what HIV test is? On 21st of February I applied for police clearance at Kirstenhof Police Station (Apparently that takes 6 weeks to arrive) On 22nd of February I went for my blood test results and a full medical check-up with my doctor. My blood HIV and VDRL serology tests were negative :-) My doctor declared me physically and psychologically fit to adopt a baby :-) Armed with everything but my police clearance ( That can come later) I hand delivered my adoption application to Cape Town Child Welfare on Wednesday 23rd February 2011 :-)

Orientation - Friday 18 February 2011

The orientation was at Cape Town Child Welfare. There are 2 social workers who handle adoptions. The orientation was run by one of them. She basically gave us a little background about the process, costs (on a sliding scale according to your salary) and expectations. At the end of the session she gave us a comprehensive application form to fill in and medical requirements which included an HIV test. I felt that it was very professionally run and informative. She told us that last year 35 babies were adopted/placed in the Western Cape . . . That is 3 a month. And she said there are 20 couples/people on `the list` at the moment. She also explained that they do not go in the order of `the list` but try and find the best match. They are bound by strict South African laws with regards to placing a child. But my mathematical mind went into action. If I could be number 21 on the list . . . 3 babies a month . . . That would mean I could get a baby in September . . . . but she reiterated that one just never knows. I left the orientation with one mission . . . To fill in the application form and return it as soon as possible.

The email I had been waiting for . . .

On the 24th of January I received the email I was waiting for . . .

"The date of the orientation meeting has finally been set for Friday the 18^th February 2011 at 8:30 a.m. until approximately 10:30 a.m. at Cape Town Child Welfare, Head Office, Lower Klipfontein Road, Gatesville."

I turned 40 on 27 January 2011 with the knowlege that the process to adopt a precious gift would start soon . . .

A little curve ball . . .

Life is always interesting. By the time the 2011 school year started on the 17th of January 2011 I had made up my mind to get my name onto `the list` at Child Welfare as soon as possible. I had been told on the phone that the process included an interview/screening, workshops and a home visit. At the same time I had been `chatting` to friends of friends who had gone other routes in order to compare the time-frames, processes and costs. A woman who went through Procare said she had paid upwards of R30 000. I started saving immediately. On the second day of school I happened to meet a woman who was pregnant. I soon learnt that she was considering giving her baby up for adoption and that the prospective parents had fallen through. You can imagine what was going through my mind when I heard she was having a baby girl. But this opened something I had not even considered before . . . It would be an open adoption. After speaking to a various important people in my life whos perspectives I respect and an informative phone call with the social worker involved I decided that an open adoption was not for me. The social worker I spoke to worked for a private adoption agency and she said screening was R5000 and then you could be on `the list` for up to 5 years. 5 years!!! I am already 40 . . . I can`t wait 5 years!! So my focus moved back onto Child Welfare . . .

A sign of my commitment . . . .

As a sign of my commitment I moved my brothers old cot out of the attic at my parents house and into my flat on the 6th of January 2011. I also decided that I had 2 non-negotiables when adopting: I wanted a girl and she had to be healthy. After posting this photo on Facebook I was inundated with baby goodies: A Gracco pram travel system, camp cot, piccolo, car seat, Bumbo baby seat, baby toys, desposable nappies (enough for a month) , baby clothes 0-3 months, 3-6 months and 6-12 months, bedding, pictures, curtains, bottles . . . It is going to be one lucky precious baby girl :-) A big thank you to all those kind and generous people out there who have been giving me things in preperation for this bundle of joy.

Actions speak louder than words . . .

The thought of adopting a child started a few years ago when I was still teaching at Ferndale Primary School. I was single but still wanted a child to love and raise. Artificial insemination was never an option for me as there are so many babies and children, some abandoned, out there in Cape Town and South Africa, needing loving homes. Over the years I spoke about it more and more with family and colleagues, but very often in life we talk more than we act ;-) In the end actions speak louder than words.

In my final year of teaching at Ferndale Primary school I had a little adopted boy in my class. I met with his new Mommy a few times and was very interested to hear the process she had been through. She told me that she has been involved in a childrens shelter in the area and that there was a great need for foster and adoptive homes in Cape Town. She ended up adopting this little boy and his twin brothers.

In my first year of teaching at Kirstenhof Primary School I was far to busy to act on my thoughts of adopting, although I did do some online research as to which avenues were the best to use in Cape Town or South Africa. I still continued chatting about it with family and colleagues. They all encouraged me to go for it!! I have to say at this point that the support that I have got from the beginning has been overwelming, but more about that later. I even phoned Child Welfare in November 2010 to enquire about the process. They invited my to an adoption orientation which clashed with prize-giving so I could not go. I chatted to another woman who had adopted a 2 month old little girl in December through Procare. Procare are based all the way out in Wellington. She told me that she had since met people who had gone through Cape Town Child Welfare and were very impressed.

In December 2010, while camping at the Wilderness, I decided that I had done enough talking about it and needed to start the process. At the same time I heard a radio news report about the increase in number of abandoned babies in the Western Cape. My heart went out to these innocent little bundles of joy. The first thing I did when I got back to Cape Town was I contacted Child Welfare and asked to be invited to the next orientation. All their social workers were still on leave. I could not wait to start the process. The secretary at Child Welfare said they would let me know the moment they had a date for orientation. At the same time I needed to book my December holiday and decided to go for a wooden forest chalet just in case by some miracle I managed to have my bundle of joy by December. It is, even now, difficult to know how long the process will take, but it is best to be prepared . . .

Lets start at the very beginning . . . . .

Lets start at the very beginning . . . . I have created a blog called `My Precious Gift` to keep a step by step account and record of the processes I am going through with regards to adopting a baby. Once adopted I will keep you updated about my precious gift. Maybe she is out there already. Maybe not. Only time will tell. Let me start at the very beginning . . . a very good place to start :-)